You see, the it the doctor’s told me 2 months ago at my yearly mark post transplant, that it was safe for me to get it taken out. It was up to when I felt comfortable losing it. With going off to college getting closer and not wanting to deal with the tasks that come with having “it”, I decided it was time to get it out. We set up a time with the sweetest surgeon in town, went to the hospital, changed into those beautiful dazzling hospital gowns, got all prepped, got an IV, then relaxing medicine and off I was to sleep. The rest is history…well until I woke up. “IT” was out!
Today, I got my Double Lumen Hickman Catheter taken out of my chest that was placed the day after I relapsed in March ’09! Most people probably don’t realize that still had it in because it hides under my shirt and is not too bulky. But, for the past 1 ½ yrs it was there!
Keeping with the tradition, I had to keep this line like I kept all my previous ones. Yes, I am a weirdo, so I won’t tell you that I also have my spinal fluid etc in my memory box too!
You see, we (me and the “it”) had a love hate relationship, but mostly a love one. Our relationship consisted of me having to change the dressing 3x a week, flush it with heparin each night to make sure it didn’t clot, not swim or immerse it in water, change the dressing when it got wet in the shower, and overall take care to keep it clean, free from infection. In return, it would give me blood back for whatever test the doctor wanted, help them give me chemo, medication, or fluids through it, and save my anxiety from millions of pokes. It was a love hate relationship because I couldn’t go a day without forgetting to flush it, always making sure I changed the dressing on time, take shots twice a day to prevent blood clots since I had a clot where it was located, and not swim(which I LOVE). But, while these tasks seemed like a burden at times, it was fabulous not to worry about getting IVs/ needle pricks every visit to St. Jude. My veins would be one big hole if that were the case!
I am still split as to how I feel about getting my line out. Getting it out represents progress in my health, less of a burden in taking care of it when I go off to college, I can shower without having the change the dressing immediately afterwards, and I can swim. However, it also was my “safety blanket” since I get such anxiety before getting IVs. For some reason, I am immune to blood draws…those are a piece of cake. But, with IVs, I get anxiety before and they never can get it in with one poke. In fact, when I went in Friday to get my line out, the nurse who put in my IV had to dig around and said that I had a thick layer of tissue inside from the scars of previous pokes. At this response, I wanted to stay, “umm I change my mind, I think I don’t want to get me “lifeline” taken out! Leave it in and save me the stress of worrying whether they are going to need IV access.
But, I did it and there is no turning back now. Now, I just pray that nothing happens.
You know, most people collect coins, jewelry, pottery etc. Not me, I apparently collect central lines. But, I think this collection needs to stop here and now. Another one would mean that something serious has happened or that I relapsed..so ya, end of my collection!
Today, I got my Double Lumen Hickman Catheter taken out of my chest that was placed the day after I relapsed in March ’09! Most people probably don’t realize that still had it in because it hides under my shirt and is not too bulky. But, for the past 1 ½ yrs it was there!
Keeping with the tradition, I had to keep this line like I kept all my previous ones. Yes, I am a weirdo, so I won’t tell you that I also have my spinal fluid etc in my memory box too!You see, we (me and the “it”) had a love hate relationship, but mostly a love one. Our relationship consisted of me having to change the dressing 3x a week, flush it with heparin each night to make sure it didn’t clot, not swim or immerse it in water, change the dressing when it got wet in the shower, and overall take care to keep it clean, free from infection. In return, it would give me blood back for whatever test the doctor wanted, help them give me chemo, medication, or fluids through it, and save my anxiety from millions of pokes. It was a love hate relationship because I couldn’t go a day without forgetting to flush it, always making sure I changed the dressing on time, take shots twice a day to prevent blood clots since I had a clot where it was located, and not swim(which I LOVE). But, while these tasks seemed like a burden at times, it was fabulous not to worry about getting IVs/ needle pricks every visit to St. Jude. My veins would be one big hole if that were the case!
I am still split as to how I feel about getting my line out. Getting it out represents progress in my health, less of a burden in taking care of it when I go off to college, I can shower without having the change the dressing immediately afterwards, and I can swim. However, it also was my “safety blanket” since I get such anxiety before getting IVs. For some reason, I am immune to blood draws…those are a piece of cake. But, with IVs, I get anxiety before and they never can get it in with one poke. In fact, when I went in Friday to get my line out, the nurse who put in my IV had to dig around and said that I had a thick layer of tissue inside from the scars of previous pokes. At this response, I wanted to stay, “umm I change my mind, I think I don’t want to get me “lifeline” taken out! Leave it in and save me the stress of worrying whether they are going to need IV access.
But, I did it and there is no turning back now. Now, I just pray that nothing happens.
You know, most people collect coins, jewelry, pottery etc. Not me, I apparently collect central lines. But, I think this collection needs to stop here and now. Another one would mean that something serious has happened or that I relapsed..so ya, end of my collection! 
4 comments:
haha nice post. I know the man that invented your new addition to your memory box. He would find this entertaining.;)
I am happy to say that your collection is COMPLETE. No more additions. I think we should bronze them...it's seems more classy. Now let's start a new collection, like stamps or something less expensive then medical devices.
I'm so happy that this day came. Now that you can swim, next step...beach!
So weird but awesome. We should mount them in a frame, we could make it classy!!!
I enjoy catching up on your blog. Always interesting, heartfelt, and hopeful. You have courage and faith, as well as humor. I wish you the best at school.
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